I stopped listening to my Daniel Bible Study session just to record my thoughts and feelings while they were fresh. This is only the second Beth Moore study I have done, and both have been life-altering and full of new spiritual insights. In the past few days I have been mourning the start of law school and what that will mean for my daily life. Now, that it is just around the corner, I have realized that soon my free time will be just a memory and the days of spontaneity will be few and far between. I love how God has a way of interrupting our pity parties and lovingly reminding us of his plans. That happened this morning while I was listening to my Daniel session. I had not gone to church this morning, partly because of not feeling good, but mostly out of self-pity and just wanting to lie around the house. I am thankful that God chose to show me a lesson anyway despite my disobedience.

In this particular session, Beth Moore was sharing how the devil will do anything to get us to live a life of selfishness and not sacrifice. Our culture breeds selfishness, and we have to be purposeful to live sacrificially as Christ called us to live. In Luke 9:23 he calls us to deny ourselves and take up our cross...and that anyone who loses his life for Christ's sake will save it. This message spoke directly to my heart because the last few days, I have been grieving over the loss of my selfishness! I have been upset that my sacrifices for law school will cost me things that I love. Beth Moore points out that unless it costs us something, it will not seem priceless. If law school was going to be easy, it wouldn't be meaningful. Unless I felt like I was giving up something, I would not value it. I have known deep in my heart for the last few months that going to law school is God's will for my life. That is not the question I have been asking myself over the last few days. Instead I have been thinking about all the ways it would make sense and be easier not to go. If I didn't go, I could get a full-time job and we wouldn't be racking up so much debt. We wouldn't have to wait to have kids. We wouldn't have to adjust our schedules and become more intentional about time management and the list goes on and on. What God reminded me of this morning is that if I buy into the culture of selfishness and about doing what is best for me, I WILL miss my calling! My calling is to go to law school in order to be the light of God in a very secular world. If we refuse to participate in sacrificial living, it will cost us our calling. God asks us to look past the inconveniences and the temporary loss of comfort in order for us live a life that means something, to live a life abundantly. Thank you, God, for interrupting my pity party this morning!