When life doesn't add up, God must have a bigger plan. According to all mathematical equations, I should have a good job in which I am making a salary that meets my living needs and am happy and content. I did everything by the book. I earned a 4.0 in high school while playing two sports, taking honor's and AP classes, and being involved in numerous other activities. I went on to a good private college and managed to graduate in four years with a double major in History and Sociology and a 3.93 GPA. I went straight into a graduate program in sociology and finished in a mere year and a half. So, it would seem that I would come out gainfully employed but that is not the case. The theory is flawed. It is flawed because it is mine. God promises that he has a plan for us, a plan to prosper us and not to harm us. His plan does not always follow logical rules and worldly advice and that is where he loses me. So I have learned to have no plan and I struggle daily to discover his blueprint for my life, which often times seems to be hidden. I have to humble myself and forget my accomplishments and simply say, "Here I am Lord, send me." Or in the words of Wilbur Larch, a character from John Irving's The Cider House Rules, "I just want to be used."